So, these pictures are actually from when he was two weeks old. Don’t judge. This little dude eats often and slowly, so I spend much of my time with him attached to me on the couch. I’m not complaining–I know how quickly this stage passes.
I have a love/hate relationship with nursing. It does seem like the biggest time vacuum, and I feel tethered to the house, which bothered me less before I had a toddler. Since there’s no easy way to stay covered while nursing, we’re often exiled away from the crowd when we do finally get out of the house. Again, though, I know that this is temporary, and it’s already easier now that he’s not feeding every two hours. And the best part–it gives me time to be still and soak up this new love. I look down and see this perfect little miracle, and I’m just in awe that I grew him. Mommas, are you with me? Tell me I’m not the only one that basks in the wonder and amazement that this tiny human was just in my belly–and now he’s here, all perfect and growing into something more. Never mind that it happens every day, and this is how we all get to be on this earth–it’s still nothing short of miraculous when it’s your experience.
I’m reminded of feeling this same sense of awe after Tice was born, and I wondered if I would always feel like that. Would he one day be graduating from kindergarten–or achieving something great–and I suddenly be overwhelmed with the fact that I grew him in my belly? That would be kind of strange. But I can now report that it’s not something I think about anymore with Tice. Pride? Yes. But different from this kind that exists in these first weeks and months. It fades from memory the same way as those little twitches and sighs and grunts–and all those other little baby noises that you think you’ll never forget. But we get busy and absorbed in each new stage, and we do forget…
It’s in the long moments of feeding him that I have time to look down and think about these things. When I finally put down my phone and just look at him. All that sweetness–grown inside my body–and now still being nourished by my body. Oh, our bodies are amazing things! And during these months when I avoid mirrors and like my body the least, I also love it and am more amazed at how capable it is of wonderful things.
Okay, enough rambling and gushing, here are some pictures of all that sweetness.